


The Cousin

by PoisonMantis



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Denny's, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) Friendship, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Minor Matt Holt/Shiro, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Pining Lance (Voltron), Shiro's Potato Salad, THAT WILL BECOME A TAG I WILL FIGHT YOU FOR IT, Tags Are Hard, klance, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 05:38:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16079564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonMantis/pseuds/PoisonMantis
Summary: Lance had heard stories about The Cousin. It was hard not to. Lance didn't know The Cousin was going to be hot.





	The Cousin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmperorMinhyun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmperorMinhyun/gifts).



> This was written mostly in a 3:30 am procrastination fit, and it shows. I’d like to thank my friend EmperorMinhyun's dms for being there while he was asleep and I needed somewhere to scream, and also coffee, that most spiteful of caffeinated beverages. This also made me cry but that's weird cuz its not sad I just have dumb happy memories that make me cry when i think about them because I'm weak and don't deserve happiness ok here have some gay ass writing!

Lance had heard stories about The Cousin. This Cousin was part of his friend Pidge's brother's boyfriend's family. Pidge and their brother's and their brother's boyfriend's families were close, and often celebrated together.  
It wasn't long before Lance was invited to a party.  
"Lance, dude. There's gonna be food and music. And Shiro makes really good pasta salad! Come on, I need someone to talk to when Matt and Shiro go off to make out on the roof." Pidge pushed the book Lance was reading down. "I'll introduce you to The Cousin."  
Lance cocked an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to entice me to come?"  
They grinned. "Come on. You know you're interested."  
"Ugh." Lance closed his book and shoved it into his bag. "Fine. When?"  
Pidge fist-pumped and grabbed his arm. "In like ten minutes."  
"Wha-- Pidge!! That's--" He spluttered.  
"Shut up, let's just go." They pulled on his hand, dragging him out of the library.

 

The party was, Lance had to admit, pretty nice. The people were sweet, the music was nice and, as promised, Shiro's pasta salad was great. He ended up at a table full of Pidge's uncles, telling wild stories about his freshman year of college like he wasn't only a sophomore.  
In the middle of his fourth story, a great one about a Denny's and a bottle of Jack, Pidge grabbed his arm. "Yo, he's here!! Lance, come meet Keith!!"  
Lance looked at where they were pointing and oh dear Beyonce he was hot.  
Lance's list of attractive things on men:  
-Leather- check. He had some stupid short red leather jacket with dumb yellow accents and nothing made Lance want to flirt more than a cute guy in leather.  
-Fluffy hair- check. It was a mullet but hey, he was the only person who could wear a mullet and look damn good. His hair looked soft. Lance wanted to run his hands through it, as gay as that sounds.  
-A good ass- double fucking check. That ass could smother Lance and he would thank this hot guy for the honor. Too gay? Too gay.  
Pidge's voice cut through Lance's pining. "You okay, lover boy?"  
He turned to Pidge, eyes wide. "He's beautiful Pidge."  
Pidge snorted. "Yeah, yeah, you're gay."  
"I am bisexual and you know it, Pidgeon." He turned back to watch this Cousin (Keith, had Pidge called him?) greet some of his family members.  
His smile was somehow hotter than the rest of him.  
"Okay, Mr. Pining, come on, let's say hi." Pidge dragged Lance over to Keith, shaking their head.  
Lance tried fighting, but his tiny friend was stronger than they looked.  
"Oh, hey Pidge. Who's this?" Keith smiled and hugged Pidge, looking Lance over. Lance swore the look in his eye was nearly predatory. It was hot.  
"This here is Lover Boy Lance. He's in my English class. The same class you have skipped the whole damn year, Keith." Pidge punched his arm. "You're abandoning me with this gay fuck."  
Lance mocked looking insulted. "Pidge. Pidgeon. Greenie. Katie dearest--"  
"Call me that again and lose your dick, you know I hate that name," the tiny astrophysics major growled.  
Lance continued as if they hadn't said anything. "I am a proud bisexual. How could I keep all this beauty to just the handsome men or beautiful ladies?" He gestured to his body and nearly fainted when Keith's eyes trailed down his chest.  
Pidge rolled their eyes. "Ugh. Gross. Anyway, Keith, this idiot is one of my friends. He's not the worst."  
Lance fake swooned. "Pidgeon, you flatter me!!!"  
Keith laughed and Lances heart skipped a beat. "Pidge, you're not good at flattery."  
"What, are you better?" They snorted.  
"Yeah, actually. Watch." He turned to Lance, leaning back against the fence with one leg tucked underneath him. "So. Lover Boy. Must have earned that one. Looks like it was for good reason."  
His smile was intoxicating and Lance wanted to have a flirty, witty comeback but all he could come up with was "Uhh.. thanks."  
Keith, damn him, smirked. "No problem, Lover Boy."  
Pidge laughed. "You two are getting along. I'm gonna go throw condoms at my brother and Shiro. You two bond here."  
Keith grinned. "Hit Shiro in the head for me."  
Pidge made finger guns at him as they walked away, leaving Keith and Lance virtually alone.  
"So." Keith said, still in his infuriatingly flirtatious pose. "Where did you get Lover Boy from?"  
Lance smiled nervously. "Uh.. You want the reason that makes me look awful or the reason that makes me look good?"  
"Both."  
Lance chuckled and rubbed his temples. "So the bad reason is because I had six boyfriends and ten girlfriends in the span of two months."  
Keith whistled, eyebrows raised. "Sixteen dates. Damn."  
Lance smiled, though it was more like a grimace. "Yeah. A lot of... well... not my fault most of them broke up with me. They just wanted sex."  
Keith nodded. "Fair, fair. And the good reason?"  
"Because I'll flirt with anything, as Pidge says. I like making people feel beautiful." Lance smiled at him, hoping he didn't look dumb. "I'm pretty good at it too."  
Keith leaned in. The party had moved around the corner of the house, where the music was coming from. They were out of sight of everyone except maybe Matt and Shiro on the roof.  
Why was this important?  
Well, Lance thought it was important because then nobody would interrupt them.  
Keith obviously thought it was important because nobody would see him kiss Lance.  
And after running through those thoughts, Lance realized Keith was kissing him.  
And like an idiot, he grabbed his shoulder, instead of his waist, which was Lance's thing. He always held the other person's waist.  
He was more fine with it when Keith wrapped one arm around his waist to pull him closer.  
Keith eventually pulled away. "Damn, Lover Boy."  
Lance, flustered and out of breath, smiled at him. "Lance. My name is Lance."  
"Lance." Keith took his chin and looked him over, head tilted. "Alrighty then, Lance. You know, I don't really wanna be at this party. There's a restaurant down the road--"  
"Yes." Lance cut him off. "Let's go."  
Keith laughed and pulled his arm away. "Well aren't you excited?"  
Lance put his hand on Keith's chest. "And from the way your heart is pounding, so are you."  
If that was the one witty, non flustered thing Lance said that night, then so be it, because it made Keith blush and look away, smiling.  
Lance grinned and intertwined their fingers. "Come on, mullet. Let's get out of here."  
Keith kissed him again quickly and walked out with him, squeezing his hand. "It's not a mullet."  
Lance laughed and squeezed back. "It so is!! It's a mullet, and even if it looks good on you, it's still a mullet."  
Keith laughed. “It’s not a mullet! I’m glad that if it were a mullet, which it so is not--”  
“It is. It’s a mullet.”  
“Even if it were a mullet, I’m glad you think it looks good on me. It being the mullet I don’t have.”  
Lance watched him, knowing there was a dumb smile on his face and doing nothing about it. He pulled open the restaurant’s door and walked in, letting the door hit Keith in the shoulder.  
“Ow, you-- Lance!!” Keith smacked his arm and slid into the nearest booth. “Sit down, you asshole.”  
Lance sat across from him and held out his hands. “You deserve it, mullet.”  
Keith grinned and smacked his hands. “Shut up.”  
Lance was about to say something, but the door to the restaurant was slammed open by Pidge.  
“You abandoned me!” They slid into the seat beside Keith. “God, you guys missed Matt falling off the roof. It was hilarious.”  
Keith put his head in his hands. “Ruining the moment, Pidge.”  
They grabbed a menu from the stack on the table. “Yeah, I know. Shiro and Matt were already gonna come here, thought I might as well ruin your date.”  
Lance laughed and grabbed his own menu. “Thanks, Pidge. You’re always good for ruining my romantic moments. What would I do without you? Have a normal date? Can you imagine? It would be insanity!”  
Both Keith and Pidge laughed, making Lance smile. Keith pointed out something misspelled on the menu, and ended up getting into a debate with Pidge over some dumb word. Lance mostly just watched them. He’d never had friends who didn’t question when he was quiet. It was nice just watching them argue.  
Eventually, Shiro and Matt walked in, dragging a table over to make enough room for all of them. Pidge moved over to sit beside Lance, saying they ‘didn’t wanna be stuck with some dumb gay assholes.’ They ignored protests that Lance was, to some extent, gay, and that they were also, to an extent, gay.  
“But I’m not like pure gay.” They threw a salt packet at Shiro.  
Lance spluttered. “Neither is Matt!!”  
Matt pointed a straw at him. “Debatable.”  
Pidge rolled their eyes. “See? I sat on the side with you so we could be bisexuals against these gay shits.”  
“Pidge, you’re pan.”  
“Shut up, Shiro.”

 

8 burgers, 4 milkshakes, a pie, and far too many orders of these deliciously disgusting nacho cheese covered fries later, Lance leaned back in his seat, covering his eyes with the heels of his hands and laughing harder than he had laughed in a very long time.  
“Oh my god Shiro shut up!” Keith pushed his plate forward and laid his head in his arms on the table, shoulders shaking with laughter.  
“What? Your first words were ‘bitch fuck’ and you will never escape that, Keith!!” Shiro threw a fry at him.   
Pidge had long since given up, laying across the seat with their head in Lance’s lap, laughing so hard they cried.  
Matt wrapped an arm around Shiro’s shoulders. “You’re paying for me.”  
“Don’t I always? You’ll pay me back with doing the fucking dishes for once.”  
This only made Pidge laugh harder, causing the kitchen staff to glance over at them. Keith smacked Shiro on the arm.  
Lance pulled out his wallet. “Pidge doesn't have money on them ever, and I’m paying for Keith.”   
“Like hell you are!” Keith pulled his wallet from his jacket. “You’re not paying.”  
“Oh yes I am!” Lance already was counting out cash.  
“Thanks for paying, Lancey.” Pidge said, muffled by their hands covering their face, still laying in Lance’s lap.  
“Yeah, yeah, you owe me. I’m paying for you Keith, whether you like it or not.”  
Keith opened his mouth to argue, but Shiro stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Keith, you do this to everyone. Let him pay.”  
Keith sat back, angry. “Fuck you Shiro…”  
“That’s my job!” Matt called, earning annoyed groans from Keith and Lance, a kick from Pidge, and a blushing Shiro.  
Keith sighed and gave Lance a small smile. “Thanks.”  
Lance clutched at his chest and collapsed back against the seat, gasping. “Thatwassocuteohmygodimdead”  
Shiro grabbed Keith, dragging him into a crushing hug. “Keith, you killed Lance!!”  
Matt started laughing and reached behind Shiro to ruffle Keith’s hair. “Your first kill!!”

Pidge sat up, wiping their eyes and watching Keith laughing, looking legitimately happy for the first time since… well, he’d never looked that happy before. Pidge had never once seen more than a tight-lipped smile on him, and only a few hours after he met Lance, he was laughing and throwing sugar packets at Shiro and Matt like he was a kid, teaming up with Lance to argue about mothman. Pidge knew Lance thought mothman was bullshit, but he obviously didn’t care.  
They moved over so Keith could crawl under the table and sit beside Lance to argue more about having sex with cryptids. Pidge didn’t mind being the 5th wheel. It was nice to see their families all combined- their brother Matt, Shiro and Keith, virtually their brothers-in-law now that Shiro and Matt were so close, and Lance, their best friend. They sat back in a chair Matt had pulled up and never used, smiling and letting Lance and Keith drag them to their side of the debate, and laughing when the two cheered, offering the tiny person a seat on Lance’s lap.   
And if all it took to make their best friends smile was to debate about the sexuality of a half-moth-half-man cryptid while sitting in Lance’s lap late at night at a 24hr diner, then that was just fine by Pidge.


End file.
